Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize