so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
