she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
