turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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