Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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