he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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