We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
