but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
