you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And my parents said I crawled through the house
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
