Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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