it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize