Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Randomize
