I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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