we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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