Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
