I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize