i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize