haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
honey bunches of taint.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
