Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
