Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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