Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
