After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My vagina just recognized that song.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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