shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
