i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
