I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize