just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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