we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
