Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Boobs are out for the taking
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
