I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize