Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
