I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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