Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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