I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
