any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
