i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
