C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
