Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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