apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
