Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
