So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
