I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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