let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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