Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize