cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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