And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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