We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
