so explain again why im purple
no
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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