cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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