He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
