Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
