One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
