Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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