He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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