I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
