The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
