At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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