I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Text me some of your sweat
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