ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I am naked and annoyed.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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