I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
