Define "chronic" masturbator.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
