similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
