omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
