My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
