3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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