I looked at my own cervix.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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