At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
sex in a hospital.. check
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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