Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
