the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
