I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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