You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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