just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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