If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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