that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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