I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
