Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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