He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
